Thanks goes to my friend Paul, the rocket-scientist, who always makes time to send me the funnies:

and I to my fellow bluegrass fans and those that wish they were…

I spent a couple of summers of my undergrad working in a cubicle for the Texas Department of Public Safety. Being only a “temp” I learned real quick to keep to myself, and working for the state, I learned to “pace myself”. One thing I did not learn was “cubicle etiquette”. But lucky for you, as a moving company I work for was moving the corporate headquarters of Kroger grocery, I found a copy of their cubicle etiquette stuck behind an important looking desk. I read over a few and could not help but burst out laughing. I hope it has the same effect on  you (believe me, you couldn’t make this stuff up!) :

Cubicle Etiquette

A set of “ground rules”, if you will, that will help cube dwellers remain both productive and neighborly.

Privacy

• Never enter enter someone’s cubicle without permission. Behave as though cubicles have doors. Do not enter before you have eye contact “permission” from the occupant.
• Try not to sneak up behind someone in a cube. Announce yourself at their doorway, or lightly knock on the wall.
• Don’t “praire-dog” over the tops of cubes or peek in as you walk past each one.
• Never read someone’s computer screen or comment on conversations you’ve overheard. Resist answering questions you overheard asked in the cube next to you!
• Keep your hands off a cube dwellers desk. Just because there is no door doesn’t mean you can help yourself to their paper clips.

Talking

• Use your “library voice”.
• Don’t talk through cube walls or congregate outside someone’s cube. 
• Don’t yell across the “cube farm”. Get up and move to the other person’s location.

Smells

• A good rule of thumb is never to eat hot food at your desk. Food odors can both your hungry or nauseous neighbors.
• Perfume and cologne should be avoided in a cubicle arrangement. Your neighbors may have allergies.
• Keep an air freshner handy.
• Keep your shoes on!

Now you know…the next time you take a trip to a cube farm… 

‘BH

This probably won’t entertain you as much as it did me, but I figured I’d share anyways, just so you know at little about my fellow employees.

This summer I’m working at a Military Surplus store whose owner runs two other stores in the area. Since it’s all the same company, a lot of the employees switch back and forth from store to store. Well this afternoon, I called one of our stores in the mall, and had the following conversation:

(Ringing…)

Chris: “Rugged Outdoors, this is Chris speaking. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hey Chris, it’s Hank. Can I talk to Steven please?” (Steven is the head guy at that store)

Chris: “Umm, okay. Let me see if I can find him. I think he’s in the back.”

Me: “Why is he in the back? Are there customers up front?”

Chris: “Yeah, but I think he’s on his phone with somebody.”

Me: “Okay, well, tell him I need to talk to him.”

Chris: [Hey Steve, Hank needs to talk to you.] “He just shooed me away with his hand. Now what?”

Me: “Ah. You’re killing me. Okay, just tell him to call me when He gets done, okay?”

Chris: “Okay. I think he’s trying to find a way to get the handcuffs off.”

Me: “What!? What handcuffs??”

Chris: “Oh yeah, he’s got a pair of Smith and Wesson handcuffs locked on his wrist and he can’t find the key.”

Me: “Are you serious!? What in the world was he doing!?”

Chris: “Just playing around I guess.”

Me: ::amidst heavy laughter:: “Alright, just tell him to call me when he gets off the phone.”

====== 20 Minutes Later =======

My phone rings…

Me: “Military Depot, this is Hank.”

Steven: “Hey dude. So I’m still trying to get this handcuff off.”

Me: “Hahahaha. Are you serious? Does it not have the key with it?”

Steven: “No, this just happens to be the only pair of handcuffs we sell that don’t have the keys with them.”

Me: “HAHAHAHA!”

Steven: “But I’m trying to pick the lock right now.”

Me: “Dude, you’re trying to pick the lock on a pair of Smith and Wesson, Police Issue handcuffs? Tell me you’re joking…”

Steven: “I can pick the lock on the cuff that’s not on my wrist, but for some reason the lock isn’t working on the other one…”

And you can imagine how this went on and on until I’m rolling on the floor, and he’s trying to find a small enough piece of sheet metal to get ‘em off. Then the owner calls to let me know he’s coming into town tonight to check on the stores. Ahh, the beauty of irony. Poor kid. I left at 9pm and I still don’t know if he got ‘em off. Sometimes you learn the easy way, and sometimes you gotta handcuff yourself with a $90 pair of handcuffs and then realize you can’t find the key.

Somethings money can’t buy…

As I began my pre-Final procrastination exercises a few days ago with the typical deep clean and pre-packing warm up, I came across one of my old harmonicas. It’s the cheaper version of the one pictured, called “The Echo” made by M.Hohner harmonicas. It has been a delightful addition to the many things that I can think to do instead of studying for finals. And it is also one of the few things I can do while I study as well! But the same excitement may not transfer to my neighbors down the hall…lol.

‘BH

It’s hard to beat free advertisement of myself!

Perhaps I should have paid Bob Kauflin $5 to make an announcement for me…

‘BH

Probably one of my favorite bluegrass bands ever is Doyle Lawson and Quicksilver. And today, they even went up a notch in my book. I found out that one of their guitars players from the early 90’s was named…you guessed it…Russell Moore. Okay, maybe it’s not our Russell Moore, but still…how much cooler can you get than a pink blazer and a mullet?

I’ve got a buddy who is a rocket-scientist (no joke) at Nasa, and periodically throughout the day he will send me comic strips via email. I’m usually too busy laughing to wonder if he’s doing it on the clock. Anywho, here are a few of the latest and greatest (click to enlarge):

To my beloved readers and skimmers alike,

Our very own Lawn Gospel blog has made the first annual Said at Southern Blog Madness tournament as a 4th ranked seed. We’re going up againt some heavy hitters, so I need your vote to push me over the top. To take part in the LawnGospelution, just click the link above, scroll down the West division and vote for your favorite blog (*ahem*).

And in honor of making it to the blog-dance, I’ve decided do something special here at Lawn Gospel.

For the first time ever, I’m going to allow y’all to propose a blog topic that I will address here on the blog. Because I’m not as techno-savy as the guys at Said at Southern I don’t know how to do a poll, but I think we’ll survive without one. I’m going to give y’all one week to comment on this post with 3 possible blog topics that you’d like me to address. You are free to dialoge between yourselves as to the most intriguing, humorous posts, etc for one week. Then next Monday, I will pick the best three suggestions and allow you to vote on them.

Now I’m a realist here, so I’m not expecting a big turnout…lol. So basically, if you comment, you have a pretty good chance of winning. If that doesn’t sound fun or exciting to you, just humor me…

Enjoy the Madness,

‘BH

As my brother Terry Delaney alluded to recently in a comment, dumbness may in fact be genetic, but I offer to you today that it may be denominational as well…

Only at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary could you walk into the showers in Whitsitt Hall (an all male dormitory) and see that some genius had the bright idea to open up the waist-high window that faces the parking lot outside (presumably to let some cool spring air inside). The very fact that I need not explain why that’d be a bad idea, makes it even more, well, obvious…

No offense to my Boyce brethren, but that has undergrad written all over it…lol.

‘BH

…or at the very least, a little more common sense (although I’d much prefer to have both!)

That is definitely the front seat of my truck. And that white powder is definitely like a half a box of laundry detergent (as if you couldn’t tell). How was I supposed to know that you can’t balance an open box of detergent on top of a pile of clothes?…

This actually happened a few weeks ago, but I just now got up the courage to share it with y’all….