Family Planning: Let’s Consider a Pre-emptive Strike

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“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.” – (Pro 19:21)

Scripture never talks about “planning” being a bad thing, in the generic sense. In fact, it gives an almost universal stamp of approval to it, even giving us guidelines for how to plan well ( “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” – Pro 11:14, “…for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.” – Pro 24:6, “Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.” – Pro 16:3, etc.) But what does this mean for us in terms of family planning and birth control? If God likes planning, then he must be on board with birth control, right?

Well, hold your pills there pilgrim… There are a few more things that need to be considered before we run down to the neighborhood pharmacy. We must consider the timing, the purpose, and the right of our planning.

1) The timing of our family planning.

In preaching on salvation and discipleship, Christ asked in Luke 14:31, “Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?” Matthew Henry comments on the central aim of the verse in this way:

“When we undertake to be Christ’s disciples we are like a man that goes to war, and therefore must consider the hazard of it, and the difficulties that are to be encountered. A king that declares war against a neighbouring prince considers whether he has strength wherewith to make his part good, and, if not, he will lay aside his thoughts of war. Note, [1.] The state of a Christian in this world is a military state. Is not the Christian life a warfare? We have many passes in our way, that must be disputed with dint of sword; nay, we must fight every step we go, so restless are our spiritual enemies in their opposition. [2.] We ought to consider whether we can endure the hardness which a good soldier of Jesus Christ must expect and count upon, before we enlist ourselves under Christ’s banner; whether we are able to encounter the forces of hell and earth, which come against us twenty thousand strong.”

One of the key points to this illustration is timing. We must consider ourselves, and count the cost of discipleship before we enter into it. And marriage, my friends, is no different. Unlike the kings of old, we don’t have the ability to send our emissaries to God and ask for a marriage on our own terms. If we want marriage, we must take it on God’s terms. And it is here that we must consider the fact that God INTENTIONALLY made marriage and sex (the “one flesh union”) procreative. Children springing from the union of Adam and Eve was no surprise to God. One look at their bodies would have cast away all doubts as the the created intentions of their Unerring Creator. And God has not changed his mind about the terms of marriage for us today. Because of this, the time to plan, the time to discern is BEFORE you enter into marriage. Just as the king must “sit down first” and consider his plan, so too must the Christian “sit down first” and consider God’s plan and purpose for marriage – and only then decide whether or not they will agree to the terms of engagement.

2) The purpose of our family planning.

Any decision that a Christian makes must be centered on conformity to Christ. God’s ultimate purpose for us is clear from Ephesians 1:4-6, “even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.” Therefore, any decision we make must be purposed to seek and do “his will”. And it is no different for family planning. Does God have a will for your family? Absolutely. Has he left you to blindly grope for it amidst a culture that is becoming more and more hostile to a biblical view of marriage, sex, and children? Absolutely not. God created marriage for a purpose: to glorify himself in Christ. Included in that overarching purpose are many other intimately connected purposes such as unity, relationship, procreation, pleasure, spiritual growth, gospel testimony, protection against sin, etc. So, in any consideration of family planning, it must first be understood that these are indeed God’s purposes. God is the one who made sex unitive. God is the one who made sex pleasurable. And God is the one who made sex procreative. In seeking to find our purpose in family planning, we must take great care never to undermine God’s purposes in the process. Which brings us to our final consideration…

3) The right of our family planning.

Few will argue that we don’t have the ability to family plan today (what with the advent of “the pill”, the condom, and a host of other medical procedures). It’s clear that we are able to do these things. The question we must answer, and answer in a way that casts more than a passing nod to Scriptural authority, is “Do we have the right to family plan?” Do we have the right to pick and choose which purposes that God instilled in marriage that we would like to take part in? Do we have the right to shun the gift of God in children? Do we have the right to make our wombs “barren”? All these things have by and large been assumed in most of our Christian circles, but they by no means are assumed in Scripture. The fact is, a much different picture is painted in Scripture. Children are shown time and time again to be understood as “begotten not made”, not products of their parent’s will, rather a “heritage from the Lord” (Psa 127). Man’s dominion is not seen as unlimited (as God displayed again and again in the barrenness/conceptions of countless couples, and even the incarnation itself), and God alone is held up throughout Scripture as the Sovereign Lord of the womb, who killeth and maketh alive. Was it not the King who sat down to count the cost? What place then has the King’s servant to presumptuously consider their would-be children inconvenient, or undesired? Should not the one who fashions us in the womb, be allowed to put us there as well?

Conclusion:

In the end, the Proverb is rock solid in its truth and commentary in light of marriage and family: “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.” Yes, we have a great many plans for “our lives”, and “our marriages”, and “our children” – but until those things are lifted up to the true Alpha and Omega of the family, in humility and obedience – “our plans” will be just that…”ours”. And we will never come to love, seek, and value God’s plan for marriage, sex, and children. God is sovereign, oh yes, but lest we forget – man is still responsible.

Let us seek the will of our Heavenly Father for family planning, and then – plan accordingly.

‘BH

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