May 20, 2008...11:48 am
Vasectomies for the Glory of God?
Recently one of my Lawn Gospel readers posted this comment on the post entitled, “Birth Control: The Partly Natural Family, Children Aborted From The Mind“:
I find this interesting and I have some questions. Do you think natural family planning is OK and also, what is your opinion on vasectomies? If a woman has 6 kids and she’s 41 and still of childbearing age, yet is sure she doesn’t want more children, do you think it is wrong for her husband to get a vasectomy? I’m just curious of what you think. Also, I believe we are all created with different strengths and weaknesses. As in the body of Christ, some work with children, some are pastors, some council men, etc. Do you think some women are more gifted in the area of childrearing than others? Having a large family takes a gifted woman to fulfill that job and I’m wondering if you think all women are gifted in that area? Thank you for this interesting discussion.
I’ve heard many similar questions like the ones above, and felt like posting my response below may stir your heart and mind to further consider the ‘giftedness’ of children in a world that hates the image of God in which they are made. Here was my quick response:
NFP - I’m still considering the overall implications of this technique, but for the most part I think it fails to answer most of my moral inquires concerning ‘family planning’. The biggest issue that contraception poses is the way it causes us to view children - not first and foremost the technique that is used. NFP is a great answer to the Catholic moral framework, but currently I am not convinced of its adequate answers to the question of the proper dominion of man, and the overall heart of the parents present in my own Reformed Protestant framework. If parents do not value children as gifts from God, then whether they are using technology to take a pill, or using technology to monitor fertility cycles - neither have the proper “heart”, either in principle or in practice.
Vasectomies - Again, the root of this question is not a matter of number of kids or age. We must first answer whether or not God has revealed that we are EVER to permanently sterilize ourselves in the context of marriage. It would be extremely hard for one to reconcile a biblical understanding of children, and yet an intentional rejection of any children the Lord would seek to give you from the natural (and assumed) union of man and wife.
Having the gift of child rearing - Of course, for some women mothering may come more naturally than others. However, as with many things, God may not give the grace for mothering until the ‘actual need’ is there. Feelings of inadequacy are not evidences of a need to ‘family plan’ - rather they are a healthy realization that “unless God builds the house, those who build it labor in vain” (which, btw, is verse 1 of Psalm 127, which continues a few verses later to say:
“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” - Ps. 127:3-5)Although some families may be blessed with more children, no child will ever come into a marriage without the accompanying grace to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). Of that, we can be certain.
8 Comments
May 20, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I agree whole-heartedly that the biggest problem with NFP is still the heart. This method of family planning still seeks to usurp God’s sovereignity over the womb and instead place the control in the hand of the man and woman. Also as far as giftedness for childrearing: I am a living testament to the fact that God will give you the grace as needed and will also work to change your heart and attitudes and grow you into the likeness of Christ as you seek Him in childrearing. My plan for my life was to go to medical school and change the world. I didn’t really like kids all that much and wasn’t even sure I wanted any–and I definitely didn’t want to be at home with them all day long–I had too much to offer the world! When God saved me, he also saw fit to lay it on my husband and my heart to trust Him for our family and we suspended all methods of family planning. We have since had 3 children in 3 1/2 years (all boys, yipes!). I didn’t go to medical school and it became my heart’s desire to be at home with my children to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:4) and though, I knew absolutely nothing about caring for children (nor really anything about homemaking in general) God has been faithful to give me the patience and grace to love my children and discipline them as necessary. Additionally, He has changed my heart radically–I would know welcome as many children as He would give as often as He would give them and I’m finding a passion for managing my home and raising my children that I could never have imagined just a few short years ago. I am certainly not someone who was natural gifted at childrearing (and I’m still not all that good at it at times) but God is equipping me to be able to do this task that He has for me and I have no doubts that as He sees fit to bless a marriage with children, He will also enable the parents to raise those children. The most important thing is that the parents are seeking Him in childrearing and not trying to rely on their own strength.
May 20, 2008 at 10:20 pm
“The biggest issue that contraception poses is the way it causes us to view children - not first and foremost the technique that is used.”
Very succinctly said and indeed the heart of the matter.
The flip side of the coin … have you written much about adoption?
We’re personally looking into it and I think it’s a great way for Christians to communicate the value we put on children, even those of others. It’s also a good reminder of God’s adoption of us and His attitude toward children, even the rebellious ones.
May 21, 2008 at 2:00 am
Krista -
Thanks so much for sharing that story here. I know many readers are looking for those kind of ‘real life applications’ of viewing children as the Scripture teaches us we should - as “a heritage from the Lord.”
Gunny -
You are absolutely right about the extreme important that adoption has in any discussion on valuing children in this culture, and in light of Scripture. I’ve actually been sitting on a blog post dealing with “Birth Control in Light of Adoption” for a while now, and in the last year the Lord has really begun to stir my heart and open up my eyes to the awesome opportunity that Christian couples have to picture the gospel in adoption - and yes, even the ‘rebellious ones’…lol. Dr. Moore wrote an amazing piece on the Gospel and Adoption in this Touchstone Magizine article from a while back.
May 26, 2008 at 11:56 pm
I would probably put vasectomies and other “permanent” birth control as more risky, morally (for lack of a better term) than other forms of contraception. Simply because it is irreversible and if/when I justify the usage of birth control it would often be situational and temporary.
That being said, I once spoke with a Catholic woman who had been very hurt by the excommunication of her mother years before when she was sterilized as a medical procedure. If I remember correctly, according to her the doctor had recommended it, the church said don’t do it, and then there was an emergency and it was done to save her mom’s life. Who knows the real story.
But what do you think about that kind of situation? It reminds me somewhat of the ectopic pregnancy/abortion issue.
May 28, 2008 at 12:18 am
Chris -
“Situational” ethics are only effective when covered by an over-arching moral paradigm. The term “slippery slope” becomes more of a “steep cliff” on this issue. It is not just that the temporary contraceptive mentality naturally leads to an acceptance of a more permanent contraceptive system - but we need to admit that the ethical argument in favor of “temporary” contraceptive is merely intensified in permanent contraception and therefore, if one is rejected, both must be called into serious question.
As for the excommunication issue, of course I don’t believe we should excommunicate women who’ve had their tubes tied (and I don’t think you were implying I did). With the limited info that you gave, if a women’s life was somehow in imminent danger because of her tubes being open (which I am at a loss for what that would be) I don’t think it would necessarily be ethically wrong (at the moment) to do what it takes to save the mother. However, the case of ectopic pregnancies is totally different - because it involves the intentional murder of a conceived child. I think I’ve commented on that before on someone else’s blog, but I can’t remember it for some reason.
btw - thanks again so much for interacting with me on these issues. God has been good to give me such a brother as you, especially one who is willing to deal with all my gracelessness that is always abounding…
May 28, 2008 at 2:01 am
Yea, I knew what your opinion would be re: situational ethics. my response would be directed towards someone wondering if vasectomies are okay if they’re not sure about contraception.
I’ve enjoyed the interactions with you– you have challenged me more than almost anyone lately through these interactions. Not just as it relates to these issues, but more just on holding scripture as the preeminent source of guidance of our lives– the way you talk about birth control is challenging me to reflect in many areas.
Ectopic pregnancies: yours is a unique view, at least to me- you’re the only person I’ve met who has taken that position. At least, to my best knowledge- it’s not exactly the first question I ask people, even with pro-lifers.
June 18, 2008 at 11:37 am
so what conclusions have you gotten? especially give the above question. it is a question of the heart, why are you doing it selfishness or good steward?
Genesis 38:8-10 Onan as a selfish act vs I Timothy 5:8, 8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
I have friend with 6 kids who is 41 struggling with vastectomy or not and this is the discussion we are having. I have a really long research on it, just didn’t want to clog up the post.
June 18, 2008 at 2:14 pm
If you look closely at the passage in Timothy it is in reference to widows and realtions in need: ” 3Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. 4But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. 8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
It is understood in God’s design and order that parents supply for their children. The standard (read lifestyle)/manner in which they supply seems to be the issue. Does it really matter if more than 3 children share a bedroom? Or if people exist on potato soup for a season? God provides in the manner He deems best. We get all caught up on semantics. It is a matter of adjusting your lifestyle according to God’s blessings/children and His provision.
I do not mean to sound trite, we are expecting our 8th so I do know of what I speak.
Genoise
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